The Mourner’s Bill Of Rights
Where Can I Find Help To Reduce Probate Stress In The Greater Houston Area?
It's not easy when a loved one passes away. Where can you go to find help and support after someone dies? The post offers a list of resources for people going through probate in the Greater Houston Area. From books to professional services, and online communities, you’ll find support as you make decisions about the estate.
Taxes, debts, and inheritance issues tend to be time-consuming, chaotic, and costly but they are part of the probate process. Helpful resources provide relief, support, and connection with others who know what you’re going through. Whether you need help with processing the estate or support in processing your grief, you're in the right place.
If you feel like you are fumbling your way forward with a probate case in Harris County or Montgomery County, Texas, keep reading. The goal here is to provide helpful resources for the Executor, Administrator, Personal Representative, or any individual trying to process the loss of a loved one.
Top 10 Smart Things You Need To Do Immediately After Someone Dies…
And ONE thing you must NOT do
A Checklist for Someone Who Recently Lost a Loved One in Texas
by Sherri Lund
If someone close to you recently passed away and you’re wondering what needs to be done, you’ll find a checklist of practical things below. But first, please accept my condolences.
Going through probate is never an easy time but it’s especially hard when you’re also grieving someone you cared for. And it’s easy to feel scattered. My hope is that this list becomes a helpful resource.
Normally I write about wills, probate, and estates. But if you’ve just lost someone special, you need help with what you’ve got on your plate right now. Use this Checklist to narrow down all the things you could do so you can focus on what’s necessary. You might know someone else that could benefit from this article too.
The most important part of the probate process is people. We don’t want to lose sight of the individuals trying to navigate this difficult season. So, whether you end up in probate or not, I hope you find some helpful resources here.
In this post, you’ll find answers to questions like:
What do I need to do after someone passes away?
How can I use this checklist?
How do I take care of myself after losing a loved one?
What do I need to pay careful attention to after a loved one dies?
What must not be done after someone’s death, especially if I’m the Executor?
Where can I find resources on grief?
If you are overwhelmed with all there is to do after a loved one passes, keep reading. You’ll find ideas, tips, and suggestions on what to do, what not to do, and how to find emotional and financial support during this time. We’re here to help.
What are the top 10 things to do within the first week or so after someone dies?
These 10 things are mostly practical steps but you will also find tips on how to care for yourself and navigate your way through grief. There’s also one important (and often unknown) thing that you don’t want to ignore.
Before I get into the checklist of ten things, let me encourage you.
If someone that you love recently passed away, show yourself some compassion. Grief has a significant impact on us and causes us to cycle through times of shock, anger, sadness, and more. And it’s exhausting.
Your world, as you knew it, shifted; it’s normal to feel out of sorts. Take things one day at a time and use this checklist as a guide. Get a support team together and share this with them. Working through this together makes the tasks less burdensome.
I understand the importance of a support team. When my mom and dad passed away my support team became my lifeline.
Readjusting to life after someone dies takes a while. There are important tasks that need to be done in the days after someone dies, however, grief has its own timetable. And a supportive team can help you find your way again. See if you can find a balance between taking care of yourself and doing the things that need to be done.
How can I use this Checklist after someone dies?
You can use this checklist in a few ways:
Find the tips that you need most and start when them.
Use the list as a distraction. Those big feelings are real and need to be processed. It’s also okay to feel good about making progress on the To-Do list.
Share the list with someone who is grieving.
Between big emotions and a long To-Do list, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed after someone dies.
When my parents died, not only was I in shock that they were gone, I was also unaware of what to do with all their things. I had young children and felt flustered much of the time.
All my energy went to caring for the kids and dealing with my parent’s stuff. I didn’t think much about myself and that added to the problem. I stumbled through and did the best I could but the struggle was real. Having a list like this would have been helpful back then.
How can I take care of myself when I lose a close loved one?
If you’ve been on a plane, you’ve heard the flight attendant talk about the oxygen mask. They say to care for ourselves before helping someone else. This is also good advice for a person who has lost a loved one. It may seem illogical but it is true.
After someone special dies, it’s important to care for yourself even if you don’t feel like it. Your head, heart, and body are trying to deal with what’s happened. Supporting yourself with compassion is a gift you give yourself.
I promise to get to the practical list of things in a bit but these self-care tips are important too. You’re better equipped to help others when you support yourself first. You’re also able to make better decisions on important matters.
6 Ways to Take Care of yourself after someone dies:
Remember to breathe. Under stress, we tend to take shallow breaths. However, taking slow deep breaths helps us feel less anxious and more grounded. When you feel overwhelmed, try taking some deep breaths and see if it helps.
Drink water. Even if you don’t feel like eating, water is cleansing and supportive.
Rest. Emotional stress is exhausting. Strong emotions are part of the package when someone dies but they sap our energy. Take the time you need to recuperate. If you’re unable to nap, find a quiet place to relax and regroup. The hustle and bustle, the questions and decisions - they are all draining. You’re the only one who knows when you need a break. Make sure you take one.
Pace yourself. You’re just one person and you’ve been through a lot. Taking deep breaths and sipping water are two ways to slow racing thoughts and temper big feelings. What else could you do? Maybe, if the weather is nice, step outside and notice something lovely. What can you find to see, hear, or smell that reminds you that life is good? Your list of things to do can wait a few minutes. These simple self-care practices will fortify you so you can approach the checklist and get things done.
Designate a place for important things. Pick a desk or a countertop where you can keep a box or notebook. Write down things you want to remember because your brain can’t hold it all. Keep receipts, cards, and lists… anything you want. And ask others to respect it.
Allow others to help. There’s no reason for you to do everything. People will want to help so give them something to do. Let them shop or make phone calls. Someone may want to cook. Everyone processes grief and shows love in different ways.
Finally, choose someone special who will keep an eye on you. They’ll make sure you eat and drink as well as protect your time. Hopefully, they’ll have a listening ear and respect your need for privacy when you need to rest.
Self-care actions like these will help you to manage your emotions and feel more balanced. They aren’t one-and-done things. Instead, they’re intentional actions you can use in the weeks and months to come.
Now, having gone over the importance of caring for yourself after someone dies, it’s time to cover the practical list of ten critical things to do after someone dies.
Checklist of things to do after someone you love dies
(You can download a copy of the checklist here.)
See that any dependents and/or pets are cared for.
Notify closest family, friends, and clergy. Have one of them contact others. If you need to reach someone serving in the military, the American Red Cross can help with that. Request a grief counselor if needed.
Approve organ donation. Organ donation is time-sensitive so if your loved one wanted to donate organs, let hospital staff know immediately.
Locate important papers. Check the file cabinet, a personal safe, or a safe deposit box for the decedent’s final wishes. In addition to a Will or Trust, look for passwords and instructions for funeral, burial, or cremation.
Remember to reminisce. As you’re looking for papers and files, you’ll come across mementos. Take a little time to browse through photos, tell stories and let others tell theirs. Something special happens when we share these moments with others. You might start a journal to capture thoughts, feelings, and snippets of conversation.
Contact the probate attorney and the executor of the estate. Notify any and all power of attorney agents and trustees of the death. They may know of some of the decedent’s last wishes. They may also have information on available benefits. If there are any conflicts within this group, the probate attorney can assist you.
Make arrangements for the funeral, cremation, burial, and end-of-life celebration according to the deceased's wishes. Determine if benefits are available before visiting the mortuary. Financial benefits may be available if the decedent was a member of an organization, in the military, or on public assistance, for example. If the deceased died of Covid-19, they may be eligible for up to $9,000 in assistance from FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency. (Find that information here.) Invite someone supportive and practical when you go to the funeral home. They will help you make funeral plans. Prepare an obituary and schedule it. Consider a charity or two that you might want to support. Some people would rather donate than give flowers.
Protect, manage, and maintain the property. This includes a house, vehicle, business, and the like. Take photos of valuables such as guns, art collections, or jewelry and secure them. Do not commingle assets. Make sure the mail is collected and newspapers picked up. If you’re the Executor for the estate, consider changing the locks, especially if several people have keys. Have someone stay in the house during the funeral service.
Contact employers within a day or two (there may be benefits available). Notify extended family members and friends. See if someone can help you with this task.
Remember to go easy on yourself and others who are grieving. Take time to mourn. Self-care is important… both now and in the weeks and months to come.
Bonus tip: Here’s the one thing you DO NOT want to do after someone dies:
Do not take or disburse assets and property from the estate until you’ve been given permission. And don’t let others take things either.
This isn’t always easy to carry out, especially with sentimental and/or valuable objects. However, all of the property is part of the estate. The Personal Representative is responsible for all of the estate and will need to give account for it.
Where can I find resources on grief?
There are several good resources for grief support and more become available every year. Here are some ideas for you to consider:
As mental health advocates, we encourage you to find people and organizations to help you through this season of grief. You can find several in our Resource Center.
Find our article about The Mourner’s Bill of Rights.
Download The Mourner’s Bill of Rights from our Resource Center.
Grief Share is a Christian-based support group that offers a safe place to process your grief. If you’d like an online group for Grief Share, you can find one at Grief Guide Ministries.
Some coaches and counselors specialize in grief and you might find one that feels like a good fit for you. The pandemic really brought the benefits of counseling to the forefront and online sessions are convenient. If you need financial assistance for a counselor, your county may have a list. Grief counselors and coaches may work on a sliding scale and some churches have licensed counselors available.
If you are in Texas and need help with probate issues while you grieve, let us know. Reach out through our Contact page and tell us what you’re looking for.
Obviously, there are more than ten things to do after someone dies. I tried to shrink the list by putting the tips into categories.
If you found this article helpful, I'd love to hear from you! And if you have any feedback regarding this checklist or the information provided, please let me know that too.
Your feedback helps me improve the resources and keep the information relevant. You can share your thoughts on the Contact Form or message me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn. Be well!
You might be interested in some of our other resources:
For additional help with grief, check out the Mourning Bill of Rights article.
Our Resource Center has articles and tools if you need assistance with probate.
Sherri Lund is a Certified Probate Expert, Life Coach, and mental health advocate. As the owner of Willow Wood Solutions, she uses her extensive training to provide thoughtful and compassionate guidance to Texas families in probate.
Disclaimer: Please note that Sherri Lund and Willow Wood Solutions do not offer legal services. Any information in this article should not be misconstrued as legal advice. We recommend that you seek the advice of an attorney, CPA, or tax attorney regarding any decisions about your probate in Texas.
Speed Up Your Probate Case: Practical Help for Families in Houston, Texas
by Sherri Lund
Probate in the greater Houston area is a long and complex process. This article provides ideas and strategies for streamlining the process, enabling you to feel more confident and at ease as you work through your Texas probate case.
This article addresses these probate questions:
What is probate in Texas?
How long does probate last?
Why does probate take so long in Houston, Texas?
What does the Personal Representative do when they probate an estate?
What can you do to quicken your probate case?
How does Willow Wood Solutions speed up the probate process?
How do I streamline my probate case in Texas?
If you are currently dealing with a Texas probate estate and wonder, How can I possibly get all this stuff done?... keep reading. We're here to help.
What is Probate in Texas?
In a nutshell, probate is a term that describes the legal process of distributing someone's property after they pass away.
Probate follows procedures designed by the state of Texas to ensure a person's final wishes are carried out regarding their estate. The goal is that the rightful heirs receive their inheritance.
How long does probate last?
Probate is a big deal. It takes time for the Personal Representative to gather important documents, assess the value of an estate, and make sure the right people get the benefits. They can work for months, maybe years, on a probate estate. This fact surprises most people.
Research conducted by EstateExec found:
"On average, it takes almost 16 months to settle an estate. Very small estates (<$10K) have a somewhat shorter settlement duration, and very large estates (>$5M) take almost 3 times as long, but in between those extremes, duration is fairly unrelated to size. Roughly 80% of all estates are settled within 18 months."
Fortunately, probate cases in the greater Houston area average slightly less than this report shows. Actual times vary depending on the size and complexity of the probate estate.
Why does probate take so long in Houston, Texas?
Several factors play into the length of a probate case.
Probate cases must follow the conditions of the Texas probate court. The court requires time to locate beneficiaries and notify creditors. This part of the process cannot be changed.
Dying without a valid will complicates the probate process and requires more time. The presence of a will can speed up probate. When there is a will, the process is more straightforward. An Executor is named, and benefits are distributed as described. But it's a different story without a will. Then the court must assign an Administrator, uncover all the heirs, and divide the estate equally. These cases can drag on and on and on.
In a typical year, more than half of US probate cases do not have a will. And surprisingly, the pandemic didn’t affect those numbers. According to a Gallup poll released in June 2021, only 46% of the adults in the US have a will.
Covid has significantly impacted how long probate cases last. The New York Times reports that since February 2020, more than 965,000 people have died from Covid in the United States. As a result, thousands of people have passed without a will and there are more cases on the calendar than usual.
Probate cases can be also slowed down for a number of reasons that include (but are not limited to): heirs cannot be located, the will is contested, or the heirs have a dispute.
It takes time for any probate case to process, but especially during the pandemic. There are obvious things we cannot control. But, there are ways we can make the process more efficient and effective… and translates to less stress. That’s where we focus our attention.
How does the probate process work in Harris County, TX?
To make the best progress with your Texas probate case, you'll first want to make sure you file in the correct probate court.
The probate process in Harris County follows the same procedures as other Texas probate courts but each one has its own way of doing things. Pay attention to your county’s probate requirements, and follow the steps in order.
Generally, probate follows the steps listed below. The Personal Representative for the estate is involved in each step.
Submit the probate application to the court. Wait two weeks.
Validate the will. A judge will appoint an Executor if there is a will or assign an Administrator if there is no will.
Maintain the property. This includes the physical property (grass, house, etc.) and accounts. The Personal Representative is expected to keep the property safe, pay the mortgage, and more while working on the probate process.
Inventory all assets. The Personal Representative creates a list of all bank accounts, real property, investments, etc., and determines its value. They have 90 days to complete this.
Identify the beneficiaries named in the will. If there is no will, the court will search for heirs. The state of Texas has specific guidelines for determining who the heirs are. It will divide the value of the estate equally between all rightful heirs.
Notify all creditors. This allows them time to file claims against the estate.
Pay taxes and creditors.
Settle disputes between heirs. This step is only required when the will is contested. When this happens, it significantly extends the length and expense of the probate case.
Distribute the assets to the heirs. If there is money remaining in the estate, it is distributed to the beneficiaries.
Finalize the case. A judge reviews the proceedings and declares it closed.
The Probate Process [ Infographic ]
What does the Personal Representative do when they probate an estate?
Entire books have been written about the responsibilities of a Personal Representative on a probate case. We have some helpful titles in our Resource Center.
Briefly, the Personal Representative is expected to:
Identify, appraise, and protect the assets of the estate
Probate the will (if there is one)
Manage finances and pay off estate debts
Locate beneficiaries and distribute assets
While this may seem like a simple list, each step takes time to complete. Eventually, the Personal Representative will make their way through the probate steps and manage the estate over time. They will give account to the court on how they handle things. They can do this with confidence if they are prepared and know what they're doing.
“Maybe the single, most important thing you can do to expedite the probate process is to see that the Personal Representative gets assistance.”
What can you do to quicken your probate case?
As I already mentioned, the probate process takes time. There are specific legal, financial, and personal tasks that must be done. And, as the one in charge, the Personal Representative is the only person who can do them. Fortunately, they don't have to shoulder everything.
Qualified people can help with other details to expedite the probate process. When you delegate those tasks, you can breathe a little easier and save your time for things that need your attention.
Who can help the Personal Representative?
Attorneys. Attorneys play a significant role on the probate team. However, their expertise is in the courtroom. Attorneys are essential but usually, do less outside the courtroom than most people think.
Beneficiaries. Family and friends can also help as long as they don't add stress or confusion.
Community. People in our community can be great resources when you find some capable ones.
Willow Wood Solutions. We can be boots on the ground, helping with issues big and small.
How does Willow Wood Solutions speed up the probate process?
We work hard to make the Personal Representative's job easier.
We've created our business to offer three tiers of support:
Support the family. We know how challenging life can be after a loved one passes. That's why we're here. During a life transition like probate, people need empathetic and knowledgeable professionals to answer questions, offer suggestions, and provide solutions.
Tend to the estate. Our team can tackle just about any job. We focus our attention on issues outside the courtroom. We work in tandem with the legal system, helping you meet critical deadlines.
Empower the Personal Representative. This is where we really shine. We help clients so they can take care of their duties and live their life outside of probate. They can still work a full-time job and enjoy a busy family. And if they require specialized care for themselves, it's not interrupted.
We bring all our training and experience to respectfully relieve clients of tasks that consume time and sap energy. As we check things off the To-Do list, attorneys can work efficiently, money gets saved, and the case is closed.
“We believe amazing things can happen in the greater Houston area when people work on the probate process together.”
How do I streamline my probate case in Texas?
To close your probate case quickly, education is key. Probate takes time and attention. As you learn about the process and what’s expected, you can create a plan that works for you. Asking for help is another way to ease your stress and pick up speed.
And that's why we're here. Willow Wood Solutions wants to help. We offer education and support to our community so they can navigate probate in a difficult season and learn how to avoid it in the future.
If you're new to Texas probate and trying to learn it on the fly, it will be hard. Thankfully, you don't have to do it alone.
Reach out and let us know what you're looking for on our Contact page. If you need immediate assistance, call us today at 832-823-9635. We'll do our best to lighten your load.
Additional resources you might find helpful:
Our Resource Center has tools to help you with probate.
Download the Checklist
If you found this article helpful, I'd love to hear from you! You can reach me through the Contact page or message me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn. Be well!
Sherri Lund is a Certified Probate Expert, Life Coach, and mental health advocate. As the owner of Willow Wood Solutions, she uses her extensive training to provide thoughtful and compassionate guidance to Texas families in probate.
Disclaimer: Please note that Sherri Lund and Willow Wood Solutions do not offer legal services. Any information in this article should not be misconstrued as legal advice. We recommend that you seek the advice of an attorney, CPA, or tax attorney regarding any decisions about your probate in Texas.
Help! What Probate Words Do I Need To Know For Harris County, Texas?
Approaching probate for the first time can be overwhelming. For starters, you’re dealing with the formal legal system. As if that isn’t enough, you’re there because someone you care about has died. Now you’re trying to settle their estate. And, the probate process is challenging because it comes with unfamiliar words and situations. We created this list of probate terms and definitions to help ease some of the stress around probate and to assist the Personal Representative.